Conscience-free country babes living a life of crime

For a little light relief, we thought we’d turn to the musical harbour of all things dark - country and western - to showcase some serious ladies doing serious shit, ranging from the badass to the just plain bad.

Shawn Colvin - Sunny Came Home
Summary: Sunny ‘comes home’ and WREAKS FUCKING HAVOC, arsonist-style.

Choice lyrics:
Sunny came home with a list of names
She didn’t believe in transcendence
‘It’s time for a few small repairs,’ she said
Sunny came home with a vengeance.
‘I close my eyes and fly out of my mind
Into the fire.’
Count the years, you always knew it
Strike the match, go on and do it.

The Dixie Chicks - Goodbye, Earl
Summary: Earl is a small town wife-beater; his wife’s best friend is a willing murderer. In a cheery little tune that features a corpse in a hoedown in the video at the end, best friends Mary-Ann and Wanda pop off Wanda’s psycho husband.

Choice lyrics:
Well, it wasn’t two weeks after she got married
That Wanda started getting abused
She put on dark glasses, long-sleeved blouses, and make-up to cover her bruises.
Well, she finally got the nerve to file for divorce
She let the law take it from there
But Earl walked right through that restraining order and put her in intensive care.
Right away, Mary-Ann flew in from Atlanta
On a red-eye midnight flight
She held Wanda’s hand and they worked out a plan
And it didn’t take them long to decide
That Earl had to die.

Carrie Underwood - Before He Cheats
Summary: Carrie’s boyfriend needs a lesson learning, and Carrie has a garage full of appropriate lesson-learning tools.

Choice lyrics:
I dug my key into the side
Of his pretty little souped-up four wheel drive
Carved my name into his leather seats,
I took a Louisville slugger to both headlights,
Slashed a hole in all four tyres,
And maybe next time he’ll think before he cheats.

Jo Dee Messina - My Give A Damn’s Busted
Summary: Jo Dee’s boyfriend threatens to kill himself, and she really fucking doesn’t care.

Choice lyrics:
[You say] it’s a desperate situation
No telling what you’ll do
If I don’t forgive you, you say your life is through
But come on, give me something I can use
My give a damn’s busted.
I really wanna care
I wanna feel something
Let me dig a little deeper -
Nope, still nothing.